Conquering sleep.

Well, I didn't go to bed at 7:30 last night. Damn near, though. Instead, wendolen took me out for dinner, again, and I was bright enough to order coffee. It didn't make my headache go away, but it lifted my Weltschmerz.

Then we came back to my place and I finally showed her The Frighteners, one of my favorite movies and one I knew she'd love. She did. We didn't get to bed until 1:30 AM. Strangely, it feels like a victory. Continuing to fuck up my sleep schedule seems preferable to giving in to the desire to just sleep my way through sadness.

That does seem to be the form my depression takes, lately -- whenever I get really depressed about something, I immediately want to go lie down and sleep, no matter what time of day it is. It's kind of frightening, really.

Anyway. On another note -- I think I want to see if Third Place Books is hiring. I'm sick to death of the tech industry, and I've wanted to work in a bookstore since I was little. I'd be making a hell of a lot less money than I'm used to, but that would be okay, I think. I really like Third Place Books, and it's very, very close to the fabric store where both wendolen and treebyleaf work. It's something to think about.

Surprising, really ....

.... how much better I feel after a little coffee and some Sex Pistols.

Christ.

What a sickening, horrifying sound that just was.

It was a perfectly normal sound: an airplane going overhead.

In my imagination, it sounded -- wrong. Like a plane diving, falling, out of control. I suppose it's because the sound is unfamiliar now. I think this was the first plane I've seen in the sky all week.

I ran to the window and opened it so I could hear better, kept my eye on the plane, second-guessing it: had I ever seen a plane headed that direction before? Did that seem like a normal angle?

I'm the son of a Boeing technician. I grew up under the flight path of SeaTac International. The sound of planes overhead was a soothing, drowsy constant throughout my childhood.

That sound has been turned against me, now.