Cashiering.

[icebluenothing]

There are certain little monologues, little interior decision making processes, that go through my head over and over again, while I'm behind the register at work. Two, three, maybe fifty times a week.

----

Okay, next customer, start ringing her up --

Shit. Shit! I didn't say "hello!" How rude of me. Jesus.

Okay, now. Say it now. Look up and say hi. .... Okay, she's not looking. I can't get her attention, make eye contact with her, and THEN say hi, that would seem forced.

Okay, now she's looking this way. Say it. Say "hi." Now -- !

Wouldn't it seem weird to say it now, though, after, what, twenty seconds? More? While you're hesitating, it's going to be even longer. Fuck.

..... Okay, now the window of opportunity to make with the friendly greeting has completely passed by. At least look up. Smile.

Won't she wonder what the hell I'm smiling about -- ?

Okay, screw it, just finish ringing her up, give her the total, take her money, and now a big smile and "Thank you." You can do that.

Wait. What the hell is this freakish coin she's just handed me? Is this a Canadian quarter? A Susan B. Anthony dollar? A Norwegian krone? A Swiss franc?

.... Oh. It must be a new state quarter from West Dakota or somewhere. I could turn it over to look at the other side, but then I'd look like an idiot. Dammit.

Is there something uniquely wrong with me? Can everyone else in the country recognize a quarter purely by shape and size? I used to know what quarters looked like. I could remember a couple of exceptions here and there, the occasional Bicentennial quarter, sure, that's fine, but if I have to start keeping track of FIFTY exceptions, I'm going to go completely bugfuck --

Okay, fuck it. Everything bigger than a nickel is now automatically a quarter, amen and hallelujah. Into the drawer with you.

"Here you go! Thanks a lot!" And -- smile.

Okay. Done. Thank God.

.... Was that too big a smile? Did that seem forced?

.... Does everyone else have this much trouble with basic social interaction? Oh, wait, next customer --

Shit.

Comments

[rufus.livejournal.com]

yes. well, ok, maybe not *everyone*.

my brain does an especially fun thing where i will give the response before the question, so I have conversations like:

Me: "Fine, thanks, and you?"

Them: "How are you?"

I also have a periodic fear of New People and The Phone, sometimes individually but also in concert.

[gwywnnydd.livejournal.com]

It's been a while since I've done retail, but I remember goign through that too :).
I worked at the concessions stand of a movie theater, so I got a glimpse of retailing during the holiday season. You've got my sympathies . . .

[wendolen.livejournal.com]

The worst one is when you've been working both the register and the floor, and someone comes up that you helped fairly extensively, and you say "Hi!" because you say "Hi!" to every new customer.

[darkmane.livejournal.com]

I started to post a joking reply about how you are a screw up, then I thought better.

You are not alone in this awkward "Oh my god I have to deal with people!" thought process. I really hated it when I was working phone support.

[amnotsurly.livejournal.com]

I go through something similar at my job. People call me up, and I always think "did I remember to ask how I can help them or say good morning?" the answer is usually that I forgot. Of course, by the time I think of it, it's far too late...

[ilion.livejournal.com]

I want to memorize this, then stand around reciting it while you work. Because I'm THAT kind of friend.

[luchog.livejournal.com]

Oh gods. I don't miss those days. At least on phone CS i didn't actually have to look at people i was talking to. Don't miss the days at the photo studio tho. Fortunately, we had very few walk-ins, mostly just the regulars.

Dick's

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Work there for a week, and all thoughts of social niceties go *RIGHT* out the friggin' window. :)

[gabri.livejournal.com]

Want worse? We had someone from human resources at the hospital in as a patient. I've only been in her office and talked with her 100 or so times in the seven years I've worked there.

And I walked into the room and introduced myself.