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Cashiering.
Dec. 15th, 2003 01:24 pm----
Okay, next customer, start ringing her up --
Shit. Shit! I didn't say "hello!" How rude of me. Jesus.
Okay, now. Say it now. Look up and say hi. .... Okay, she's not looking. I can't get her attention, make eye contact with her, and THEN say hi, that would seem forced.
Okay, now she's looking this way. Say it. Say "hi." Now -- !
Wouldn't it seem weird to say it now, though, after, what, twenty seconds? More? While you're hesitating, it's going to be even longer. Fuck.
..... Okay, now the window of opportunity to make with the friendly greeting has completely passed by. At least look up. Smile.
Won't she wonder what the hell I'm smiling about -- ?
Okay, screw it, just finish ringing her up, give her the total, take her money, and now a big smile and "Thank you." You can do that.
Wait. What the hell is this freakish coin she's just handed me? Is this a Canadian quarter? A Susan B. Anthony dollar? A Norwegian krone? A Swiss franc?
.... Oh. It must be a new state quarter from West Dakota or somewhere. I could turn it over to look at the other side, but then I'd look like an idiot. Dammit.
Is there something uniquely wrong with me? Can everyone else in the country recognize a quarter purely by shape and size? I used to know what quarters looked like. I could remember a couple of exceptions here and there, the occasional Bicentennial quarter, sure, that's fine, but if I have to start keeping track of FIFTY exceptions, I'm going to go completely bugfuck --
Okay, fuck it. Everything bigger than a nickel is now automatically a quarter, amen and hallelujah. Into the drawer with you.
"Here you go! Thanks a lot!" And -- smile.
Okay. Done. Thank God.
.... Was that too big a smile? Did that seem forced?
.... Does everyone else have this much trouble with basic social interaction? Oh, wait, next customer --
Shit.
