Tests.

[icebluenothing]

Pardon me whilst I rant for a moment. I hate to have be the one to break this to you, but:

You're not a character from Alice in Wonderland.

No matter what some on-line test told you.

You're also not a robot, a corporate mascot, or a famous painting. You're not a James Bond villain, an evil criminal or a horrible affliction. You're not a Beatle, a member of Radiohead, or a Tim Burton movie. You're not a Pokemon (thank God).

You are most definitely not a fictional character from Absolutely Fabulous, The Breakfast Club, Empire Records, Enterprise, FFVII, Invader Zim, Lord of the Rings, Reservoir Dogs, Rocky Horror, Slayers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or any film by David Lynch or Kevin Smith.

You sure as hellfire and damnation are not David Frickin' Bowie.

You may well indeed be spiritually attuned with an Element, or with a totem animal. But frankly, if you don't have enough respect for such traditions to find the idea of taking an on-line test to determine them deeply offensive, I'm actually inclined to doubt that you are. Sorry.

You want to talk about test results? Great, I'm interested. Like when my friend noiseinmyhead got a result of hGC-28000 / progestrone- 35.8 on her pregnancy test. Or when retcon got 81% on his i-Net+ certification exam.

We deal with tests, our own tests and trials, every day. That's what we call life. If I'm reading your on-line journal, it's because I'm interested in your life. Could you talk about that instead? Please?

Don't take this as a diatribe against escapism. I'm all for escapism -- and for all I know, maybe you are a fictional character. I want to hear all about your flights of fancy -- the emphasis there being, I want to hear about your flights of fancy, your own words, not something you got for a few mouseclicks.

Comments

[ilion.livejournal.com]

You know, I'd been planning to find the "You are not your job" speach from Fight Club and redo it about online tests.

Now it'll sound too much like what you just wrote.

Damn you.

Still, you haven't seen the Simpsons Prisoner episode.

[rwx.livejournal.com]

feeling testy, are we?

[autumngray.livejournal.com]

AMEN, Brother Six! Preach it!

Now that's a fine rant.

[jinasphinx.livejournal.com]

I don't know what it is with the online tests this past year, but there have been a lot of them. Mostly I just ignore them.

Although, when the LotR test came up on a normally low-traffic list, and a bunch of 40- and 50-somethings got all enthusiastic about comparing results, that was cute.