Talking.

I've been doing a lot of it this week.

Saturday I saw 01flux and had my first chance to have an actual conversation with her; that went well.

Wandered around my apartment Saturday night in an epiphanic state, what you might call a Moment of Clarity. I tend to spend a lot of time -- too much -- thinking about other people, my friends and loved ones, and what they need. I suddenly found myself laser-focused on what I need, who I am, and what I needed right then was to dress up pretty and go out to the club, so I did. Ran into kespernorth on my way out, so I hung around a while longer and talked with him. I wasn't sure he'd be happy to see me, actually, but he was. I'm glad I ran into him and I'm glad we're still friends.

Saw wendolen on Sunday night and we had a lovely dinner out together that was, perhaps remarkably, free from any bullshit and drama, either on her part or mine. Had a chance to talk out with her some things that had been bothering me, talk about where we were going and what I wanted. It was a wonderfully blunt and honest and cheerful conversation, and I didn't spend it trying to be careful and gentle and boxing myself in. I just laid what I had on the table without being afraid I was going to hurt her or scare her away.

After dinner, I went over to retcon's apartment and proceeded to have a seven-hour conversation about, well, everything, really. I don't think we've ever had a conversation that was that emotionally open and honest. (As he said at a couple of points, "I don't get it -- we haven't even been drinking!") Left his apartment, came home, and got to bed at, oh, around six o'clock in the goddamn morning.

Got a call from greenwood on Tuesday telling me that she'd managed to get me a ticket to go see Midnight Oil (who are, in case you didn't know, one of the best goddamn rock and roll bands in the world). She knew I wanted to go, and she also knew I couldn't afford it, so she'd snagged me an early birthday present. Dude. I knew C-ko was cool, but I had no idea she was this cool. (I also didn't know she was such an operator. She had arranged to buy a ticket from someone; had a backup plan to buy a ticket from someone else if that fell through, and in the end, managed to score a free ticket off of yet someone else.)

We got separated at the concert, but I ran into Genevieve Williams, local music writer and drummer for the excellent local band Murder of Crows, and had a good time talking to her before the show started.

The opening act was a solo performer named Bleu, and I really enjoyed his work. It made me miss wendolen, because I thought she'd like him, and because I realized that I probably wouldn't have liked him if it hadn't been for wendolen's influences on my musical tastes. I was surprised I liked him as much as I did, anyway -- I'm usually predisposed to dislike opening acts, as I feel that they're there for no other reason than to waste my time until the band I came to see actually performs.

Speaking of whom, Midnight Oil were, of course, excellent. They have a hell of a lot of energy and stage presence and their music was great live. Unfortunately, before their set was even halfway over, I started feeling dizzy, hot, overcrowded, overwhelmed by the volume -- C-ko had even thoughtfully brought me earplugs, but I just can't stand them, and the sound was just pounding right into my skull anyway. I needed to go home and I felt miserable and old for reaching that conclusion, but at least I got to hear "Blue Sky Mine", my favorite song of theirs. I sent C-ko mail when I got home, apologizing for running out on her.

Made the mistake of while I was out before the concert of looking at a U.S. map the Pike Brewery has up on its wall, with the thought, "Gosh, where exactly is Austin, Texas -- ?" So I got to see just exactly how far away treebyleaf is right now. *sigh* I miss her terribly.

She called me this morning, though, which was really nice. Even if she did call me with the news that Austin is currently experiencing its worst flooding in twenty years. Oh, well -- at least the part of Austin they're in seems to be safe from the tornadoes. I wish I was making that part up.