Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown.
Apr. 24th, 2007 09:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
icebluenothingI think things are finally calming down, a little. I'd been feeling a little stressed out -- trying to juggle my day job and the Hugo House contract was part of it, but I also had a lot of general free-floating anxiety. I've been kind of physically bad off, too -- mysterious aches and pains in my chest and across my right shoulder and stretching into my back. Dunno if that's stress-related, but it almost seems that way.
Norwescon went well -- so well I don't really have anything to write about. We pulled off our usual spectacular party with no real trouble. Easy, but not relaxing. Especially sleeping on the floor, which didn't help the aforementioned mysterious pains.
In the days after the con, though -- I think I had a minor nervous breakdown. No, seriously. Bad enough I couldn't work for a few days. I constantly felt on the edge of an anxiety attack and I was having trouble getting to sleep at nights.
I'm starting to realize that telecommuting isn't good for me. I sit around all day and fret over things with no social contact or outside feedback and my brain starts to stew in its own juices. Eventually it just goes right off the rails. I reached almost this same point late November, when the snow forced me to work remotely; and I had the same trouble at my first telecommuting job back in 1998. Okay, I see the pattern now. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.
Of course, part of my stress was over taxes. I needed to file for an extension this year, and I had no idea how that worked. (Many, many thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
saffyre_dragon for holding my hand and walking me through it.) When that was done, I told myself firmly that it was entirely due to taxes and I could fucking well calm down now. That seems to have worked.
I'm still hurting a fair amount -- I really don't know what's up with that, but it was bad enough that I wasn't a hell of a lot of help withsaheeb138 and hetaera15's move, which annoyed me.
But I was at least able to relax with Ahna for our third anniversary. We went to see Grindhouse and then went to 13 Coins. It was much fun, as is pretty much everything we do together. Then on Saturday we went to see Placebo at the Fenix, which is a marginally less crappy venue than it was when it was the Premier. The concert was great -- a much longer, better set than they played when we last saw them. (We got matching tour T-shirts. We promise not to wear them at the same time.)
Yesterday, I took a vacation. I spent the day by myself, doing whatever came to mind, and didn't allow myself to worry about anything -- work, money, whether I should be doing something more productive, none of it. It was good.
Norwescon went well -- so well I don't really have anything to write about. We pulled off our usual spectacular party with no real trouble. Easy, but not relaxing. Especially sleeping on the floor, which didn't help the aforementioned mysterious pains.
In the days after the con, though -- I think I had a minor nervous breakdown. No, seriously. Bad enough I couldn't work for a few days. I constantly felt on the edge of an anxiety attack and I was having trouble getting to sleep at nights.
I'm starting to realize that telecommuting isn't good for me. I sit around all day and fret over things with no social contact or outside feedback and my brain starts to stew in its own juices. Eventually it just goes right off the rails. I reached almost this same point late November, when the snow forced me to work remotely; and I had the same trouble at my first telecommuting job back in 1998. Okay, I see the pattern now. Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action.
Of course, part of my stress was over taxes. I needed to file for an extension this year, and I had no idea how that worked. (Many, many thanks to
saffyre_dragon for holding my hand and walking me through it.) When that was done, I told myself firmly that it was entirely due to taxes and I could fucking well calm down now. That seems to have worked.I'm still hurting a fair amount -- I really don't know what's up with that, but it was bad enough that I wasn't a hell of a lot of help with
saheeb138 and hetaera15's move, which annoyed me.But I was at least able to relax with Ahna for our third anniversary. We went to see Grindhouse and then went to 13 Coins. It was much fun, as is pretty much everything we do together. Then on Saturday we went to see Placebo at the Fenix, which is a marginally less crappy venue than it was when it was the Premier. The concert was great -- a much longer, better set than they played when we last saw them. (We got matching tour T-shirts. We promise not to wear them at the same time.)
Yesterday, I took a vacation. I spent the day by myself, doing whatever came to mind, and didn't allow myself to worry about anything -- work, money, whether I should be doing something more productive, none of it. It was good.
