All I want is to go back to bed.

[icebluenothing]

I'm still not sure how I pull myself up out of this recurrent depression. I've heard all the answers, all the people and all the books who tell me the answer is therapy or drugs or God or just finding my own inner strength and none of it makes any sense to me.

I have three hours before I'm supposed to pick up treebyleaf and it doesn't feel like time enough to do anything.

I want to write the LiveJournal posts I've been planning. Or do some real writing. I have a whole novel to work on, and at some level, it genuinely feels complete in my head, like all I have to do is just transcribe it, but the effort of sitting down just to do that feels like too much.

What I can do is complain. I always seem to have the energy to do that. So at least I can write that down.

(God, The Cure sounds so much better coming out of my cheap little Altec computer speakers than it does from my actual CD player. Who would have thought?)

I want to just go back to bed. But I think I'll make some coffee, see if that will help. Get something done.

Comments

[ilion.livejournal.com]

For me, I find different things work at different times. Or maybe nothing works and the cycle goes round. How's that for up lifting advice?

It's curious how people can always complain. I wonder why? It seems to me life is much easier with a positive attitude, so why are we always so negative? Would it really take that much more energy to be productive than destructive? I'm not sure that negativity is passive.