Antisocial.

[icebluenothing]

Well, this is a use for my laptop I hadn't quite anticipated;

Fairly often, I'll work up the energy to go down to the Aurafice for the weekly Seagoth coffee social, and discover once I get there that I don't, in fact, feel like being social after all. But since I've gone to all the trouble of coming all the way down here, I'll sit around for an hour or two anyway, which doesn't make me happy, but at least makes me feel like I haven't wasted the trip ....

Tonight, I brought the laptop with me in case there wasn't anyone I knew here. And, well, there are people I know, but I'm suddenly strangely anti-social again, so I pulled it out and started writing.

Hmmm. Now I'm feeling reluctant to actually post this when I get home, for fear that people will think I'm a social misfit or something. Oh, well. We'll see if I do or not.

I want to reassure people that if I'm out at Aurafice or wherever and you see me writing, feel free to come up and disturb me. If I didn't want to be interrupted, I'd stay the hell home .... It's just that in moods like the one I'm in right now, I may have come out to see people, but I haven't figured out how to make that next step of actually going up and talking to them. But I wouldn't mind if they came and talked to me.

Aiiiggggh. It feels awkward just writing about it.

I used to be good at this. Being social, I mean. Somewhere along the line, it stopped being second nature. I'm not happy about that.

Much work and progress today on the Merchants of Deva website. It will kick much ass when it's finished. Oh, and I actually did a little laundry. I've eaten like a total bachelor today -- frozen burritos, too much soda, a cheap frozen pizza. Terrible. Tomorrow I see treebyleaf again; tomorrow I will clean the apartment for her visit. Tomorrow. Today hasn't been bad, but tomorrow will be better.

Hmmm. This keyboard is pretty nice, but it's a noticeable effort to type on it -- my hands and arms are getting tired already. That's not good. Hopefully I'll acclimate to the unfamiliar effort.

Now I've turned so I can at least see the room. That's almost like being social.

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Postscript: Home now. Both greenwood and autumngray came over and pulled me out of my shell, which was nice. Drove home, way too tired to be driving (ended up taking a free left at a red light, at one point), but still went way out of my way to go to a grocery store to buy ice cream. Realized when I got there that I could buy actual groceries as well. Found out one of my favorite Ben&Jerry's flavors is now available as frozen yogurt, so I got that instead, 'cause it's healthier and stuff. If you've bothered to read all this, give yourself a gold star.